“Working Through Abuse” Classes on Free From Verbal Abuse Forum now up!

The Free From Verbal Abuse Forum if offering the course “Working Through Abuse” (30 lessons over two semesters). The first semester helps identify and understand abuse. The second semester assists in working through the effects of the abuse. The course is done in a private setting where only other members of the class can interact with one another. Although much of the focus is on verbal and emotional abuse, the materials are helpful for those who were (or are) involved in work related abuse, intimate partner abuse, and physical or sexual abuse, too.

For those not used to forums, they facilitate interaction through discussion. In a way, it’s like having a “virtual support group.” Most forums are public but the classes section in the Free From Verbal Abuse forum are only accessible to those who register for the courses. Yes, there is a public section to the forum but for those who want privacy, you will need to upgrade your account. That can be done two ways: 1) $5 per month to access private sections of the forum (no classes), or 2) register for the courses, which allows full access to ALL private sections of the forum.

Those who participate in the “Working Through Abuse” class have one-year from the date of purchase to complete each semester (15 lessons). For those who purchase both semesters together, you will have two-years of access. Because those working through abusive relationships often need time to process, it’s important that you be given plenty of time to do so.

Classes are $125 per semester or $225 for both semesters. Those who are interested click here to “upgrade your account.”  All of the lessons are done at your own pace. As people complete the activations, “Encouragers,” staff, and other class members will respond. All course participants are strongly encouraged to interact with other course members.

For those who sign up for “Working Through Abuse” by January 28th, you’ll get a FREE bottle of “Floral Defense” flower essence to help with emotional stability while you go through the course. If you’re not familiar with flower essences, please check out the Freedom Flowers website.  Here is the direct link to Floral Defense.

If you are not familiar with what flower essences have to offer, please sign up for the newsletter and you’ll get a free seven-day mini course on how flower essences can help you.

Identifying Verbal Abuse

The workbook for “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse” is all about helping people discover and then process abuse in their own lives. I was talking with some college students the other day who are concerned for a friend. It appears the abuser in this situation is a parent. What’s the problem? The victim has zero clue that the parent is abusive. However, everyone else around does!

Another student was telling me about a required class (for her major) that included the various types of verbal abuse and emotional abuse. It was during this class that she realized why everything in her own relationship was going haywire. She said to me, “It all of a sudden made sense! My boyfriend was being verbally abusive!” It was the class that allowed her to see the abuse in her own situation. Once she realized what was going on, she could then deal with the problem, which she promptly did.

Do you know anyone in an abusive relationship that has no clue it’s abusive? Because this does appear to be a problem in our society today, my goal is to help people see it for themselves. Pointing it out isn’t always the best thing and often has adverse affects. It’s possible that by reading the book “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” someone you know might recognize abuse in his/her own life. A quote from the workbook gives readers a clue on the process:

“My method of teaching is to help the learners “discover” the answers on their own.  If I give you the answers, you won’t process the information and take ownership of your answers.  Taking ownership makes it personal.  In the questions I ask in each chapter, I don’t tell you who is engaging in abusive behavior.  In order for you to learn the difference, it’s important for you to determine on your own what YOU see and feel. 

I deliberately question some of my own behaviors for the purpose of encouraging the reader to think.  I question it now, just as I did at the time it happened, although now I actually know the answers.  I believe this is why groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous are helpful.  These groups support each member in their self-discovery process.  They learn to OWN their behavior and then deal with it.  It’s no different with abuse.  You need to understand abuse, see how it affects you, and then work through it.”

To order “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” CLICK HERE.

But Words Will Never Hurt Me

Watching Our Words

The workbook to “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse” just became available on Kindle! Today’s excerpt is about what comes out of our mouths. What we say, really does matter. Of course, that’s what verbal is abuse is all about. So, why wouldn’t we, too, think about how we “flap our lips” when speaking? As my dad used to say, “Make sure your brain is engaged before putting your mouth in gear.” For years (more than likely), you watched your abuser berate you with words. You know the effects of that so it’s even more important to not let that abusive behavior control you, too.

This excerpt is taken from the end of the book after readers have gone through each of the chapters and found situations of abuse from their own relationships. These pointers are meant to be helpful when processing through the abuse.

Watch your words. This may sound very crazy and you’re probably wondering why I’m evening mentioning it. Although I don’t have the details at the tip of my tongue or brain, I’ve been paying attention to some research studies that show when people say positive stuff, their bodies (at the cellular level) have a positive physical reaction that can be seen under a microscope.

You’ve heard of people who are negative all the time? Think about their lives. Most are sick, depressed, have nothing to live for, and don’t physically look well. Again, I think some research studies are showing the physical effects that words have on our bodies.

With that, we are all human and will be negative. It’s when you continually dwell on and speak out those negative things that it eventually takes over your thoughts. This doesn’t seem very productive for someone who wants to “overcome” an abusive relationship.

Get this book on Amazon.com format by CLICKING HERE.

But Words Will Never Hurt Me: Workbook

Understanding Forgiveness

After recently publishing “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” I’ve now published the workbook, too! It’s available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com. CLICK HERE for that link.

The workbook is designed to assist the reader in discovering how abuse is working in his/her life. The goal is to assist in the following:

  • Help readers learn and understand the forms of verbal and emotional abuse,
  • Provide a platform for the reader to work through abuse in his/her own situation, and
  • Have the ability to process through the workbook with others in a forum setting. CLICK HERE for the link to the forum.

Here is a sneak preview from the end of the workbook about forgiveness:

Learn to forgive. This is a tough one because I think people have a very wrong perception of what forgiveness really involves. One definition of forgive is to “cancel a debt.” It also means to “stop blaming.” I’m of the belief that when you don’t forgive someone, it’s holding both people back from going where they need to be. Forgiving doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pain of an event. What it does mean is that you’re no longer holding that pain near and dear to your heart.

Think of it this way; forgiving someone releases that person to walk through their own consequences. You no longer have a hold of them through an emotional tie. In a way, it’s kind of like what’s called “entanglement” in quantum physics. Entanglement is where two particles act identical no matter how far they are from each other. There’s this invisible something (they don’t know what it is) that connects those two particles together.

When holding grudges against people and not having the ability to forgive them, you’re really entangled emotionally with that person. Until you can let go and break that tie, you’ll be entangled.

“Working Through Abuse” Class available at the end of January.

The Free From Verbal Abuse Forum is offering a new class that will be available at the end of January. “Working Through Abuse” is designed to be online, private, and self-paced. You can have a screen name and a fake profile photo so that no one will know who you are. This allows you to be “real” in every way.

Numerous programs have proven that people who are going through a difficult time grow the most and have the best support when they are surrounded by people who have been where they are. The “Working Through Abuse” class is all about coming together as a community to identify, understand, and then come out the other side of abuse a better and stronger person.

For more information on the classes and the Free From Verbal Abuse Forum, CLICK HERE.

Thank you for helping us spread the word!

Freedom Flowers

I would like to introduce Seneca who owns a business called “Freedom Flowers.” That may sound interesting to you but I’ll tell you from experience that flower essences work quite well for emotional issues. For as long as we can find in history, people have used the healing properties of flowers for various maladies. As far as I know, Seneca is the only person who sells flower essences that makes them herself.

Because many people in abusive relationships are also dealing with emotional stuff, I want to pass along information that I believe can help you. I for one, know that flower essences work. For one, they keep the pain level down as long as I’m consistent with taking them. That’s huge!

Please check out Seneca’s bio on the Free From Verbal Abuse forum. Click HERE to see her bio.

If you want more information on how flower essences can help you, please check out her website by clicking HERE.

Dr. Moffat of Natural Health Techniques

Dr. Moffat is now featured on the Free From Verbal Abuse Forum. Because of her, I am now a vibrant and healthy person. If you’re looking for someone who works in natural health care, I highly recommend her. Here is her bio that she posted. Or, click on THIS LINK to take you directly to it in the forum.

Hi and welcome to the FreeFromVerbalAbuse site!

I’m Dr. Denice Moffat, a veterinarian/naturopath and medical intuitive and have known Del for years and years. As one of the healers/practitioners for Del’s site, I wanted to let you in on a little secret. . .after a couple of decades of working on my own self esteem issues and being involved in two verbally abusive marriages and several verbally abusive relationships, I’ve actually lost the right to sing the blues. One of my clients, a psychotherapist, said to me after her consult “Wow, you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. I can tell. I’m impressed.”

Yes I have. My life is now awesome and love-filled. I’m manifesting and living my dreams of being a successful healer and co-owner of a really cool permaculture farm/nursery, I have an adoring husband who worships me and supports my every hair-brained idea I set my sights on (including my mattress spring clematis arbor and my little chapel built of glass bottles).

Here at FreeFromVerbalAbuse.com we want the most positive and expansive life for every one of you! We have some pretty spectacular exercises, resources and spiritual guidance to share with you to assist your moving through the trauma of verbal abuse. We don’t want you to just survivewhat you may currently be going thorough—we want you to fully understand, overcome and come out the other side of it so that you can manifest the life you were truly meant to live. We want to see you THRIVE.

My own personal journey has encompassed immersing myself in my relationship with God and my guides and angels, listening to that Still Small Voice within that I knew was with me all along even though I gave my power away to many, many people in my lifetime; having faith that the Universe is conspiring for my good at all times; doing emotional clearing and self-forgiveness work; learning what healthy boundaries were; learning how to say ‘no’ to projects and people who sucked the life right out of me; making my body healthy enough to say YES to those activities and projects that enliven me and molding a spiritual belief system that works for me.

Learning to say ‘no’ was really difficult for me. I still feel twinges of guilt sometimes, but it has become easier over the years. I have stopped trying to be the perfect wife, daughter, step-mother, sister, friend, student, doctor, committee member and volunteer that I felt others expected of me over the years and have fully stepped into my authentic self.

This journey of healing takes time—sometimes a lifetime—but the important thing is to start that journey with the tools currently available to you. Use what you think you’d like and put some other tools on that big Cosmic Bookshelf in the sky to use later when you’re ready. As you progress, miracles will happen. Trust me on this. The Universe will open more doors as you’re ready for them and your life will become more blessed and fulfilled than you ever could have imagined. Just keep moving forward and don’t look back. Put your walking shoes on and take that first step. We’re all here to help you.

Everyone deserves to be loved, listened to and valued. That means you! So join us. Del has designed this well-thought-out site to be easy to use. She’s developed a set of videos to teach you how to navigate through it for those of you who are more visually-oriented, so explore those videos and let’s get going. You are safe here.

Dr. Denice Moffat (Denice)
http://NaturalHealthTechniques.com

How the Free From Verbal Abuse Forum can help

For many people in abusive relationships, they often don’t know where to go or who is “safe” to talk with. When the victim does talk with people, how is he/she going to know if that person will believe him/her? What if they get the usual “you’re being too sensitive” or “did you say something to make them angry?” First of all, “making” someone angry is a total misnomer; it’s a choice. So, you can’t “make” someone angry. You can’t “own” someone else’s anger. All you can take responsibility for is your own behavior. There’s more on this subject in the articles within this website. Feel free to check them out.

When someone doesn’t validate your feelings, it’s a little tough to trust others with your deepest concerns. For those in abusive situations, they rarely talk to others about what’s going on behind closed doors mostly out of fear. Everyone needs some outlet and will eventually seek out sources that could help them figure out how to fix their “problem.” Once something makes sense to them, they want more information and someone to validate what they’re going through. That’s why we have so many people seeking out counselors and life coaches today.

I have personally walked in the place of people judging me, criticizing me, telling me that I was being too sensitive, and then telling me to drop it. People are going to be mean so you just need to put your big girl panties on and learn to deal with it. Well, in a marriage, it doesn’t quite work that way because if the abusive partner is always getting the upper hand, then you’ve just become his/her doormat. It took a domestic violence counselor a year to get me to realize that I indeed was in a verbally abusive marriage. But, at that time, not as much was available about verbal and emotional abuse. So, it took a little longer for me to “get it.” Notice here that it took me “talking it out” with others to get to the realization of what was causing the problems.

Since 2009, I’ve had many people writing simply wanting someone to listen to them. When they feel validated, they can then tell more of their stories. It’s like “Wow, someone is actually listening to me!” That gives them the empowerment to move forward. The main reason for the new forum? It’s to give people a platform to discuss their situations with others who have been there or who are currently in a similar place. The format of the forum allows for these discussions to take place in privacy (with an upgraded membership).

If you’re reading this and know someone who might benefit from a forum of this nature, please e-mail them the link to this page. I would NOT recommend posting in on their Facebook page because their abuser might see it and question the reason. However, I would ask that you share this on your social media outlets so people are aware of these services.

Here is the link to the forum: Free From Verbal Abuse

Newsletter and Forum Updates

F.F.V.B. Newsletter…

We are about ready to launch our first newsletter in the next couple of weeks. What’s the purpose? To reach people who are wanting more information about domestic violence. Although this site is more geared towards verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse, physical abuse can often be a part of the mix. In almost ALL cases, physical abuse has verbal and emotional abuse.

The newsletter will provide regular updated information, resources, articles, and comments to help those going through some type of abusive situation. This may be with a partner, a boss, a classmate, a parent, or another family member. If this interests you or you know of someone who might benefit from having more resources, sign up for the newsletter below:

F.F.V.B. Forum…

The forum is almost ready to use. No later than the middle of November, it will be fully functional and ready for users to add the “upgraded membership.” Anyone can now go in and sign up for a “registered user” membership. It costs nothing to do that. The link to that website is:

www.freefromverbalabuse.com

The upgraded membership allows for members to discuss their situation in private with other forum members. There will be a chat box, the capability for private conversations, several “threads” with information where members can respond with their own concerns and stories, and access to private “coaching” from people who have been in an abusive relationship.

The cost for the private section of the forum is $5 per month or $25 for six months. Because privacy is important, it does cost to have extra security. The main reason for charging is so the costs of running the forum are kept low. In addition, spammers and others who mean harm are less likely to pay to post their nastiness around the site.

The best part about this forum? It’s accessible from your own home. How many people do you know that are in an abusive relationship who are fearful of anyone finding out they are seeking help? With a forum specifically designed to assist these people, they can get help quickly from the privacy of their own home. As more people join the forum, there should be enough people that can respond quickly. However, in order for that to happen, the word needs to get out that this forum is available.

Thank you for sharing this blog post on your Facebook pages, with your friends, and with anyone that might benefit from what this forum has to offer.

New look for site and forum!

Much is changing, including our look. We’ve changed the overall scheme and added a logo that is now on both sites. In addition, we’ve made changes to the Facebook page.

Our new forum (click here) will be up and running within a couple of weeks.

The purpose of the Free From Verbal Abuse (F.F.V.B.) forum is to provide a safe and secure discussion platform. Here are some key points:

  • In order to gain access to the “secure” section of the forum, users pay a nominal fee. This helps assure spammers, robots, and that the general public cannot see private discussions.
  • Members can sign up for classes, receive personal coaching, and participate in support sessions.
  • The site is an “https” site, which means it’s encrypted for higher security.
  • Members use “screen names” only so their identity remains unknown.

Please help us pass the word around about the newsletter and forum. Our first newsletter will be launched in November of 2014! To get on the e-mail list, sign up below: