Identifying Verbal Abuse

The workbook for “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse” is all about helping people discover and then process abuse in their own lives. I was talking with some college students the other day who are concerned for a friend. It appears the abuser in this situation is a parent. What’s the problem? The victim has zero clue that the parent is abusive. However, everyone else around does!

Another student was telling me about a required class (for her major) that included the various types of verbal abuse and emotional abuse. It was during this class that she realized why everything in her own relationship was going haywire. She said to me, “It all of a sudden made sense! My boyfriend was being verbally abusive!” It was the class that allowed her to see the abuse in her own situation. Once she realized what was going on, she could then deal with the problem, which she promptly did.

Do you know anyone in an abusive relationship that has no clue it’s abusive? Because this does appear to be a problem in our society today, my goal is to help people see it for themselves. Pointing it out isn’t always the best thing and often has adverse affects. It’s possible that by reading the book “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” someone you know might recognize abuse in his/her own life. A quote from the workbook gives readers a clue on the process:

“My method of teaching is to help the learners “discover” the answers on their own.  If I give you the answers, you won’t process the information and take ownership of your answers.  Taking ownership makes it personal.  In the questions I ask in each chapter, I don’t tell you who is engaging in abusive behavior.  In order for you to learn the difference, it’s important for you to determine on your own what YOU see and feel. 

I deliberately question some of my own behaviors for the purpose of encouraging the reader to think.  I question it now, just as I did at the time it happened, although now I actually know the answers.  I believe this is why groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous are helpful.  These groups support each member in their self-discovery process.  They learn to OWN their behavior and then deal with it.  It’s no different with abuse.  You need to understand abuse, see how it affects you, and then work through it.”

To order “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” CLICK HERE.

But Words Will Never Hurt Me