Understanding Forgiveness

After recently publishing “But Words Will Never Hurt Me: A Story of Overcoming Abuse,” I’ve now published the workbook, too! It’s available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.com. CLICK HERE for that link.

The workbook is designed to assist the reader in discovering how abuse is working in his/her life. The goal is to assist in the following:

  • Help readers learn and understand the forms of verbal and emotional abuse,
  • Provide a platform for the reader to work through abuse in his/her own situation, and
  • Have the ability to process through the workbook with others in a forum setting. CLICK HERE for the link to the forum.

Here is a sneak preview from the end of the workbook about forgiveness:

Learn to forgive. This is a tough one because I think people have a very wrong perception of what forgiveness really involves. One definition of forgive is to “cancel a debt.” It also means to “stop blaming.” I’m of the belief that when you don’t forgive someone, it’s holding both people back from going where they need to be. Forgiving doesn’t mean you don’t feel the pain of an event. What it does mean is that you’re no longer holding that pain near and dear to your heart.

Think of it this way; forgiving someone releases that person to walk through their own consequences. You no longer have a hold of them through an emotional tie. In a way, it’s kind of like what’s called “entanglement” in quantum physics. Entanglement is where two particles act identical no matter how far they are from each other. There’s this invisible something (they don’t know what it is) that connects those two particles together.

When holding grudges against people and not having the ability to forgive them, you’re really entangled emotionally with that person. Until you can let go and break that tie, you’ll be entangled.